Lesson Seven Healthy Boundaries: Why Do I Need Them? One of my biggest lessons in life was being able to say, “No!” rather than always trying to please people. Many people have a hard time saying “No!” You might have to practice it a few times. What set me free was when I learned that when I say, “Yes,” with my mouth, and “No,” with my heart, God only sees my heart. That set me free: I thought why say “Yes,” because I am afraid to hurt people’s feelings and feared rejection. Then I leaned that I have a hula hoop: I am the only one in my hula hoop with God. I learned very quickly that I didn’t have to let others in my hula hoop to make decisions for me that were mine to make. Once we enter adulthood, our parents only have influence over us. They may express their opinion, but the bottom line is that you are responsible for you. To understand that, I must understand that I am the only one that can change in my situation. I can’t change others. What powerful stuff this was to learn. I hope that you can learn this lesson too and be set free in your thinking as well. Below is a simple version of what boundaries are all about. Healthy boundaries give you rest and peace. ( Matthew 28) We all have boundaries, which we will call your “hula hoop,” the invisible property line around you. You are responsible for “YOU.” Example: “You make me mad!!!” This statement gives another the power and authority over you. Without freedom, there is no obedience. If you are not free to say “No!” then “YES” is not a gift. If you say “YES,” but your heart says “ NO!” God only sees your heart. He sees “NO.” You are the only one in your hula hoop with God. What is inside your circle?
You are responsible for YOU !!!!! You know you have healthy boundaries when
Lack of Boundaries will cause
Common Troublesome Boundaries 1.Overly Complaint : Boundaries are weak; fear of hurting others feelings; fear of rejection or abandonment. Practice saying “NO!” 2. Isolation/ AvoidanceThe inability to ask for help 3.Controlling Aggressive/ Passive Domination – Intimidation- Guilt Withdrawal. Don’t respect others’ boundaries 4.Neglects Responsibilities Blame shifter - it is always someone else’s fault. With our children we have different levels of control. What Is Your Circle of Concern? Three Life Skills to Master at Toddler, Adolescence, Young Adults or Adulthood Able to form emotional attachments (bonding) and remain themselves. Able to hear “NO” from appropriate others or authority. Saying “No” without fear of discipline or manipulation. When all these are mastered, one will experience SELF-CONTROL. Chip Judd is one of my favorite teachings on boundaries. |
Elisha's Home and Ministries
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| Feel Free to contact Margie at margieovermiller@yahoo.com I will get back with you as soon as possible. Blessings |
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| If you didn't marry the father of your aborted baby, or if you are not ina relationship with ties you may have with him. My baby's father keeps emaililng me like we're teenagers; I reconnection? Soul ties are binging unless broken. I have spoken to many people that have shared that when they broke the soul ties, the other person just disappeared after years of continous calls and attempts to reconnect. Pray this prayer out loud to disconnect you from anything spiritual that ties you to the baby's father. Dear Lord Jesus, I ask you to break any and every soul tie that I have with ___________________ (insert baby's father's name or any other sex partner) I ask to be freed from anything connecting us together. In Jesus' Name, Amen |