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Lesson Four:
Fables of Forgiveness

My suffering with unforgiveness lasted for over 11 years. I
didn’t know what forgiveness was for me not the one I was
so angry with. Till I went to a healing workshop had no
idea what that was and why I was even going. Isn’t God Good
he knew I needed just that.  The main theme was forgiveness
and I forgave that day, by Dad by self and by boyfriend, the
doctor.   I told my secret to  eight total strangers and been
telling it ever since. Secrets are the enemies best ways to
keep us in bondage.

Then I  found out that Jesus suffered for me on the cross so
I didn’t have to any more. I found a relationship with Jesus
and He did love me and forgave me as far as the east is from
the west. Tell me, “How far is that ?” Maybe you have another
area and you need to hear that God does forgive you as far is
the east is from the west. I forgave my Dad, my self, baby’s
father and doctor…And my whole life turned around. In the
Word it says when the Son has set you free you are free
indeed. Well I am FREE……

Many fail to forgive, because they do not understand the
benefit of forgiveness.  Forgiveness is between you and God.  

To forgive means that you decided to leave the punishment for
what was done to you up to God. It means that you decided to
stop punishing other people, or yourself. It means that you
decided to not seek revenge.  It means that you decided to
move beyond the hurts and get on with your life.  It means that
you will trust God to take care of it and that you believe the
Word will set you free.   God’s ways are higher than our ways.

Fable #1: “If I forgive, then I will be hurt again, and that means
what was done to me is OK.”

Truth #1: Forgiveness is NOT going to hurt you; it does
NOT mean that what happened to you was alright.

Unforgiveness doesn’t protect you; it hurts you. You think if you
hold unto bitterness you will be protected. Protected from what?
The total opposite is true.  Pain is a part of life; sometimes in
life bad things happen to good people. Forgiveness is set up for
you to be set free and not tied to your past. Freedom from your
past is what helps you have a future.

Jesus never overlooks sin as if it is OK. You don’t have to
either.  What happened to you is not alright!  Forgiveness
means that you are willing to allow God to deal the punishment
to your offender.   

Fable #2:  “If I forgive, then I will have to trust them or like being
with them; or, I will need to confront my offender(s) to show that
I have really forgiven them”

Truth #2:   Forgiveness does not mean that you have to trust
that person or spend time with that person. Forgiveness is
not the same as confrontation of your offender(s). Confrontation
is an entirely different issue than forgiveness.   

People need to earn trust.  Depending on your situation, you
may never be able to trust this person.  Learning to set good
boundaries is always an important step. Confrontation must
take place with careful and prayerful consideration, with the
counsel of mature Christians, when you are safe and ready.
Confrontation is not required for forgiveness to take place.
Keep in mind, forgiveness is for your freedom.  

Fable #3: “Unforgiveness has no impact on how I deal with
my life. To forgive is to forget.””

Truth #3:  Unforgiveness binds you to the past by focusing
your attention on your hurts. Keep in mind that only God has
the ability to forgive and forget.

You define yourself by the hurts, memories, and your bitterness.
Your memories are the part of your history; they will always be
there without the pain of the event after your healing and
walking through forgiveness. You cannot change your
history; but, if you dwell on this over and over, this is called
stinking thinking.  Looking back will not let you move forward.
You keep the memory of your hurts alive by nursing and
rehearsing these same old what if’s in life.  What if’s will
never help you forget the past or move on.  What if’s are
the plan of the enemy to keep you right where you are as
you continue  thinking  how your offender(s) should pay for
what they have done. The offender(s) is the center piece of
your life.  It’s like an IV that feeds poison to your mind, your
emotions, your spirit, and your relationships. Unforgiveness
means that you allow the offenses to dominate your life and
continue
to damage you.

Fable #4: “I don’t have to forgive my offender(s).” - or -  
“ My offender(s) will have to make things right with me before I can
forgive them.”

Truth #4:  Forgiveness is an important part of Christianity.
Forgiveness is a decision.  It is the focal point of the Christian
faith.  Your offender(s) do not deserve your forgiveness, anymore than
you deserve God’s forgiveness.  

Matthew 6: 14 –15.
14  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly
Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will
your Father forgive your trespasses.

Bitterness will bind your heart and not let you freely pursue Him.   
If you don‘t pursue God with all of your heart, then you won’t
find the freedom that Jesus died for.  When you follow Jesus
with ALL of your heart, free from bitterness, then you are free
to repent of your sins and change your life to glorify God.
Such freedom brings one such peace.

Any actions of your offender(s) to make things right with you
have NOTHING to do with forgiveness. If your offender(s)
take responsibility for what they did to you, that is great; but,
it still has NOTHING to do with forgiveness.  Forgiveness is
between you and God.  There is no way an offender can
compensate you for the offense you experienced. The
offender is part of the history, and so is the damage that was
done.  By recognizing how unworthy you and your
offenders are of being forgiven, you can leave the
punishment up to God.  Can any of us pay for our sins?

Even if your offender(s) gave you a check for a $1 million to
make up for what they did to you, would it undo what they did?  

Fable #5:  “Forgiveness has no impact on my relationship
with God.”

Truth #5:  You need to ask God to forgive you for
your unforgiveness and bitterness.

Unforgiveness means that you have not trusted God to
administer justice.  By taking responsibility for your own sin,
you lift the penalty off yourself.  You leave the responsibility
for the sins committed against you between the offender(s)
and God.  What they do with their sin is up to them. You are the
one set free!

Finally, I recognize that I allowed my offender(s) to take something
from me or hurt me without my permission. Bitterness means
that I have given them the rest of my life with my permission.  
Is this really worth it in the end?  Do I want to let my offender(s)
have this much control over me?   Or is it easier for me to do it
God’s way to let go, forgive and find God’s freedom like you
never have before.  Peace will come; you will truly know the
meaning of Godly forgiveness.  


Get in a quiet place or do this with a trusting, mature,
Christian friend.  Ask the Holy Spirit to help you make a
list of everyone you need to forgive? Add #’s as needed.   

1.
2.
3.  

Go back over the list; forgive each person for what they have
done to you. Pray for each person by using the example below.
You will find the freedom Jesus has for you in forgiveness.
Don’t forget to forgive yourself for your part as well.

Example:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I forgive____________________________for
_________________________ .  I release them in Jesus’ Name.   
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